It's all my fault

I'm so sorry. I know a lot of you, my friends, have been getting thicker waistlines as you get older.

Now, AT LAST, you can blame me. Seems that having a friend who is fat makes you fat. You can live next door to, work with, even carpool with a fattie and not gain weight at all as long as you hate them, but if you like a fat person, even one who lives 500 miles away or more, you're going to pay for that friendship by putting on the pounds.

I understand that you might not want to see me when I'm home in August. It's okay. Save yourselves. Let me know if you need me to call you names or something to break the emotional connection. I'll do what I have to to help. This isn't good for any of us. If we keep up with all these good times and devotion, sure, we'll have each other, but there won't be furniture to hold our giant asses.

Oh. And it might help if you put down that pizza, too.

Comments

Cup said…
I went to bed with that guilt, too. But at least we're more fun to hang with.
11:48 am
Melinda June said…
Damn us for being so jolly!
12:26 pm
Coaster Punchman said…
Well duh, I read that article too and the first thing I thought was "of course - friends like to eat together." And then if you're people like us and therefore eligible to be our friends, you will like food. Duh. I hate non food lovers.
7:14 pm
michaelg said…
Geez, Mindy. I always suspected it was you. Thanks for my spare tire(s). Thanks a lot.
I heard about this on NPR this morning. A real no brainer. Yup. I'm going to eat a lot like my family and friends. I could have told you that. But is it because one person in my ancestry had a fat friend long ago who got us going down the fat path? Curse you, fat friends! Now I am someone's fat friend. Stop the insanity!
9:33 pm
Thymm Symmz said…
yeah, cranberry dipping sauce, architecture fancy machine cocktails...gambas pilpil...it's all your fault!
1:26 am
lulu said…
I was fat before I met you. I can't blame Jane. Or tenS. I blame my mother.
9:59 am
Kireliols said…
And here I thought it was all Diet Coke's fault!! not to mention, my kids, McDonald's, chinese take-out, pizza delivery, movie theater popcorn...
12:26 pm
Ben-Bob said…
For what it's worth (and that probably ain't much) I read the journal article in question and analyzed it in the same way we read these things in med school all the time. I thought it was pretty unimpressive stuff from a scientific/statistical viewpoint. If anyone's interested, I think the article contains its own fatal flaw in the last paragraph of the caption to the animation part of Figure 2. As far as I'm concerned they completely fail to show causality. Mostly I think they got published because they have some cool animated network graphics.

Okay, so know I want to know--which one of you people I'm hanging out with online made me into such a big ol' nerd?
3:06 pm
Joe said…
I blame God
4:16 pm
Coaster Punchman said…
Dale probably blames the French.
10:07 am
Dale said…
I blame the fat girls in the Dove commercials.
11:21 am
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