The Special People Club

You're a 27 year old drunk with no ambition and the IQ of a sandwich. It's not surprising that you don't find me sexy. And frankly, a blessing.

FYI, untucked-overly-pressed imitation Ted Baker shirts, dark wash jeans, pointy toed loafers and buckets of cheap cologne or Lynx body spray just aren't as sexy as they used to be.

If you're going to buy a sports car with an engine that roars and pass me at high speeds in residential zones to prove your manhood, please don't sit like an old woman at the roundabout, waiting for an engraved invitation to merge.