Thursday, March 27, 2008

Hater, vol 2 epilogue

Special to James Blunt: If you're going to stalk someone, take a cue from Lionel. It's a lot easier to stalk a blind girl. Heck, you can stand behind her and practically touch her and she doesn't even notice.

Note to everyone else: I am SO going to start calling people and singing, "HELLO! IS IT ME YOU'RE LOOKING FOR" and then hanging up.

There's a lot you can learn from Lionel Ritchie. Except maybe parenting.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Favorite quote of the day

I was just reading an interesting article in Time online about Ron Paul's threat to the GOP, and they made this observation:

In fairness, though, another reason RedState's directors got tired of the Paulistas was that so many of them seemed — what's the polite word? — nuts. Paul's supporters aren't all black-helicopter paranoiacs, but the black-helicopter paranoiacs sure do support Ron Paul.

Having met a few Ron Paul supporters, I must admit they have a point. And they're damn gutsy to put it in print...dive for cover,'re due a blitzkrieg of comment-bombing from the tinfoil hats, and that's if you get off easy.

But you're right, and frankly it had to be said.


I know gas is expensive in North America, but it could be much much worse. This morning I paid the equivalent of $100 to fill the tank of my Audi A3, which is basically the car above except in blue. That's $8.25 per gallon.

Monday, March 24, 2008

Easter Dinner

1) Preheat the oven to 400F. Take an organic free-range chicken, put half a lemon and some salt in the cavity, rub the skin with butter and olive oil, sprinkle on some salt, and roast that bad boy until it's done. While it's resting, squeeze the other half of the lemon on it.

2) Boil some new potatoes (cut them in half if they're big new potatoes because they should be bitesize.) Put them in a bowl. Add some chopped up spring onion. Fry some bacon until crispy, drain on paper, get most of the grease out of the pan but leave the bits. Turn the heat off but while the pan is still hot add some wholegrain mustard and some white wine vinegar and some pepper to it and stir it around. Then toss the potatoes and the spring onions in and toss around to coat. Set aside until dinner is ready and crumble the bacon in right before you serve.

3) Put some olive oil in a pan, add some snap peas and some cut up asparagus and saute until just-done. Salt, pepper and a little chili flake makes it sing.

Eat this deliciousness with an accompanying glass of sweet/dry wine. And finish off with a little gluten-free pumpkin pie with whipped cream and a bit of dark chocolate easter egg.


Hater, vol 2

Jame Blunt must be a really bad boyfriend. Not to mention a bit of an obsessive stalker with no sense of humor.

James, I'm sorry no one loves you, but please stop writing songs about unrequited/lost/tragic love and watching girls breathe. I'm sick of hearing it. No imagination, just lots of creepy mood music.

Just like I'm sick of the same song with two sets of lyrics that Scouting for Girls call "She's So Lovely" and "Heartbeat". Alright, already...she's beautiful and sassy and she makes you weak in the knees. We get it. And you like that whole effect of manic stopping and starting mid-song to convey your exuberance. Good for you boys. Now go write something new.

People like variety. The only reason Coldplay gets by with writing the same song over and over is because Chris Martin mumbles so much that people just assume what he's saying must be deep and touching some universal truth, and they don't want to seem shallow by suggesting he sucks. If you're going to enunciate and not hide behind a wall of sound, folks are going to catch on.

Good luck to you, though. And God bless.

PS. Now HERE is a righteous song about stalking, with an infectiously cheeky up-beat that makes you bounce (without ANY stops and starts, FYI). I know I've posted it before, but it bears another listen to the lyrics. Clever, original, tongue-in-cheek and not a ounce of navel-gazing to sound deep. Watch and learn.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Mark your Calendars

Eurovision 2008 is only a little over two months away!

Saturday, the 24th of May will come sooner than you think. You'd better start looking for cheap fares now...any city in Europe will be showing it on TV so you can take whatever you can find, and if you come to the UK you can even attend my Eurovision 2008 party! I think they show it in Canada, too, but you won't be able to vote.

America, you have no idea what you're missing. Seriously. No. Idea.

Just Like Heaven

Ah, to be 22 and able to leave work early the day before a four-day weekend to go see the Cure with your friends.

Or, to be 42. That works, too.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Obama v. Clinton - a UK perspective

I woke up this morning to BBC Radio 4 as always, and the news was all aflutter with the primary race results. And then I heard THIS.

Doesn't that piss you off?!

Hater, vol 1

I can't stand Tina Turner.

I mean, I admire her...I realise she's had some pretty nasty life experiences and has proven herself a survivor and all. I've seen What's Love Got to Do With It. And Tina Turner has managed to keep her figure longer than any human on record, to my knowledge, which is shallow but also impressive. For these things, I say, "Go, Tina, GO!"

But I don't like her music. I don't like "Proud Mary," or "Nutbush City Limits," or "River Deep, Mountain High," and I REALLY don't like "Private Dancer," "We Don't Need Another Hero," or the theme from the aforementioned movie. Sometimes I think I'm going to have a seizure when I hear her sing.

I also am not particularly fond of her hair or her dress sense, but I don't want to seem petty.

You're a role model, Tina, but no, I'd prefer not to see you do the shimmy again if it's all the same to you, thank you very much.

Good luck to you, though. And God Bless.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Argentinians are wimps

Sure, they're long waisted, but gnomes aren't THAT creepy. Macho my ass. Suck it up, boys.

Geek, vol 385

I am a geek. A pitiful, nerdy geek. I hate that I am, but I can't help myself.

One of my geeky obsessions is commercials that feature animals doing human things or behaving in a silly manner. And this one is making me belly laugh every time I see it.

I know. I know.

Monday, March 10, 2008


I applied for two jobs last weekend with a well known consulting firm, and today their UK HR team sent me a diversity survey because they profile applicants to understand who applies to their firm. It is supposedly NOT tied to me, but even if it were I don't really care so I filled it in.

It was the standard stuff. Gender, ethnicity, age, sexual orientation. I did, however, find the sexual orientation options a bit odd. They were:

Gay man
Gay woman/lesbian
and Other

Other? Seriously? I mean, what else is there? You'd think that they'd at least ask, "other, please specify"? (And before you all start listing post/pre-op transsexuals, that was in the Gender section, so it wasn't an orientation option.)

Between that and the demand to know my religious background if I was from Northern Ireland, I found the whole thing very odd.


Hi there. Remember me? I bet you thought I'd abandoned you.

Nope. Just been very busy. And a little preoccupied.

My trip to New York was outstanding. We arrived on time, though with a bit of a thrill. We were on our descent, the landing gear was deployed, we were over the runway and about to touch down, and suddenly the 777 I was on had the nose pulled up and we sharply went back up into the sky. Seems the plane in front of us didn't get down fast enough and so we weren't allowed to land behind them for fear we'd run into them. I'd never been in that situation before, but I hear it happens a lot. Second time round the landing was fine. Taxied into the city and had Mexican food and margaritas at a bar next to our hotel.

Friday it snowed. Like 8 inches. New York is always a trip when it snows. We went to Balthazar for breakfast/brunch, and then headed to Century 21 to look for deals. I got funky going out top/dress thing that has already run red all over itself so it won't be worn again, but at £12 for the top I got a few good wearings out of it. I got a killer Tahari suit for £60 for interviewing, and a snake-hips, plunging neckline black dress that, for various reasons, I've now nicknamed my pulling dress. (In the British sense of the word, not in the size-too-small one. If anything, this dress fits me a little too well for safety.) A very good shopping experience, all in all.

When we left Century 21, we were walking down the street and my friend Yvonne and I were talking about how we needed to move to NYC, if only we could find jobs. A portly Russian gentleman happened to overhear us and he gave us his card, assuring us he can help. Hmm. I wonder what line he's in?

Travelled uptown for more shopping, this time at Macy's, where I scored a few good work tops and another going out outfit. Excellent. Headed back down to the subway where I promptly slipped on the wet/snowy tile and wrenched my knee and put my back out. Yikes.

Tom came to my rescue with painkillers, and I did some funky stretching and shoved my rib back into place (something I've learned to do over the past few times it's gone out at a bad time,) and we went for cocktails, then dinner, then dancing. All very fun. Stayed out until crazy late. My friend Yvonne was christened Margine, as she bears a slight resemblance to the youngest wife on Big Love. It has now become her alter ego for when she's out on a bender. Good to have an alter ego for those times, I say.

Saturday was a blur of walking and shopping and wasting time. I had all sorts of mighty intentions to go to museums and do smartypants stuff, but when push came to shove I preferred to walk from the Village to the Park, stopping along the way as the mood hit me. My big purchase of the day was some sinfully expensive French perfume at Saks. Creed Fleurs de Boulgarie, to be specific. It's subtle and complex and floral and powdery and rich and exotic and I love it. Not something for everyday, but perfect for going out. Sophisticated and interesting and sexy, if I do say so myself. Just like me, right?

Saturday night was a bit more tame. Went to dinner, Tom and I went to wish Beckeye a happy birthday, my second live blogger meeting. She is delightful, FYI, but it was her birthday party so we didn't have a lot of time to talk. (Note to really must read her Top Model updates.) Perhaps next time I'm in NYC we'll try again. In the meantime, I can say she has excellent taste, as the bar was quirky (it specialises in cocktails and candy) and her friends were interesting and friendly.

We had to head out, though, as I had friends waiting for us at Arthur's Tavern. Live jazz, no cover...just a drink minimum per set. We joined them for a couple of cocktails and some music. My jetlag was now out of control (that and the late night on Friday, actually,) and so I slept a little, but I made it until 2 when we went home.

Sunday I spent the day in Brooklyn with my boys. Georgie picked me up and we just hung out. Tom's back was out, so he was babied and we talked smart and hung out. Georgie made a fabulous cioppino for dinner, and we were joined by two of their friends whom I adore. An excellent night. Took a manic cab to JFK at 6AM (made it in 15 minutes when it should have taken 30) and caught my flight home.

Landed to chaos at work, and it hasn't slowed down since. The job search is in full swing, and I have quite a few applications out or pending, some in the US and some in the UK. I have no spare time, really, hence the lack of posting. Though that should change in the next few weeks, I think, as I'm ready to stop this stupid schedule. My heart is not in it.

For the last week, I have been unable to move with any grace and have trouble climbing stairs. Have been doing some serious core exercise in addition to my cardio training, and as of Saturday my buttocks were so sore that I panted when I walked in an attempt to hold my breath. That has improved, luckily, so now I just seem a bit clumsy since I don't have a full range of motion. I know this is all good, and I'm down a size since Christmas, but SHEESH this sucks in the short term. I started to say it was a pain in the ass, but realised that was, in fact, not an expression in this case.

So I'm back, and will try to catch up on all of your posting and do some more of mine. Thanks for staying with me.