birthday

Yesterday was my birthday. Yesterday was one month to the day since my dad's funeral.

It was a mixed day.

I spent it with my friends Patricia and Nadine. Saturday I'd gone down to P's house outside of London and we spent the day walking along the Thames, drinking martinis and eating the fabulous dinner she made. Sunday I drove home after breakfast and coffee, read Harry Potter for awhile and then had dinner at a thai restaurant with N. It was a great weekend. And thank you to all who sent emails and texts and phone messages. They made me smile.

I only cried a little bit in the morning and again when I went to bed. It's like there's this gaping hole, and as long as I don't look at it or listen to the echo I'm fine. But when I do, the sadness is overwhelming. It's probably why I don't sleep much anymore. You have to calm down to sleep. And calming down means silence.

I know it will get better. I know.

Comments

Cup said…
Happy belated birthday. I'm glad you were able to do some fun things to celebrate.

The loss will take a while. It's been two years since my dad's cancer really kicked into overdrive, two years since he died. My mom and I are going through all that pain again. We're planning a weekend trip for the day he died, as we did last year, to escape it. But it's still there.

I hope it gets better for you.
7:01 pm
Dale said…
Happy Birthday MJ. Everything's still so fresh. Martinis are a good short term solution for anything though.
9:17 pm
Kireliols said…
Happy Birthday- I wish they still made star bars...you deserve one. And I'll share a Sonja-squeeze with you- those are great for when you're feeling sad.
11:28 pm
Marni said…
Happy birthday, Min. And lots of hugs, too.
6:34 am
Some Guy said…
Happy birthday, Mindy!

In the words of Fountains Of Wayne, "Today's teardrops are tomorrow's rainbows..." A touch corny, but a nice thought.
7:43 am
Coaster Punchman said…
Time is a great healer. xxoo
8:16 am
lulu said…
Happy Belated Birthday Min.

Have Tom send you some of his sleeping pills; they work wonders.
12:00 am
Writeprocrastinator said…
Happy Belated Birthday and ninety more!
10:55 am
Thymm Symmz said…
it will get better. on the other side of the sadness, pain, and suffering, there will be a new found sense of strength, peace and purpose that will define who you are. Mindy you are very special.
1:56 am
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