apropos of nothing

1. I am watching Friday Night with Jonathan Ross and he's interviewing Sarah Brightman. She refuses to sit on the couch and is perched instead on the arm of the sofa. It looks ridiculous. I think it's because of her giant shoes. She's wearing four-inch platform sandals. She as a very posh accent and acts as though she's regal. I say a woman who made a name for herself in Cats shouldn't be so hoity toity.
2. Tonight I was at the gym and was doing an ab exercise where I lay on my back, extend my legs into the air and then, holding a 4kg ball in my hands, extend my arms and touch my toes. I was gassy. About 5 reps in, all hell broke loose. There were people walking past me on their way out of a spin class. I was very embarrassed, but since I was a sweaty red mess by then I don't think I blushed noticeably. I'm hoping they thought it was the guy next to me.
3. Ransom pictures of the kidnapped Oscars have included a hostage photo tied to a tree, Barbie giving him a polishing, an escape attempt at a local bowling alley at last night's social club event, and word has it that one of them has now been taken to Malta in carry on luggage. Meanwhile, lesser trophies have been released, most recently in the compartments of the food vending machine in the lunchroom.
4. Made moules meuniere for dinner. Ate it with crusty bread and a crispy salad. It was delicious.
5. Found a website where, if I really wanted it, I could pay £6.40 for a box of Captain Crunch, £4.66 for a jar of Jif, and £18.71 for a box of tide. Think I'll wait until I come home. Though they do sell Vlasic pickles. Not perfect, but at least they're not sweet.
6. For the first week in many, I have made it through an entire issue of the Economist before the next one arrives tomorrow AM.
7. Dirty Dancing is the greatest movie of all time. Okay. Maybe not. But is there a more poignant tale of earnest liberal virgin meeting hood from the wrong side of the tracks with a heart of gold, who then fall in love against everyone's wishes and dance like there's no tomorrow? I think not. Unless maybe it's Footloose, except that preacher's kid wasn't a virgin. Or Pretty In Some Kind of Wonderful Pink, though there may not have been dancing in that. There was dancing in Strictly Ballroom, though... neither of them are hoods, but it has a good soundtrack and that Paul Mercurio is oddly compelling. Scratch what I said about Dirty Dancing. Maybe it's in the top ten greatest dance-related movies of the last 20 years. But it still made for a good Friday night.
8. Jack Black is king. Jack Black should be a guest mentor on American Idol next season. Jack Black is perfect. Jack Black IS better than Sanjaya. Jack Black is better looking than Seal.
9. Today, the swan was floating on the still pond in a moment of tranquil beauty, and just for a second I thought it was beautiful. Just for a second.


I see, I guess what Mr. Swayze really meant to say was, "nobody backs Melinda into a corner."

Not even when..."I'm hoping they thought it was the guy next to me."

Obviously it was.

As the Missus has explained to me several times over the years, that "girls don't fart." When I try to rephrase it, she says that "girls don't pass gas, wind, or anything else like that."

It wasn't you, it was the mussels.
Kireliols said…
Being the youngest in my family and the only girl, I asumed that my brothers would have some words of protective wisdom before I went on my first car date...I was told to never hold in a fart, even if I'm alone in the car with this guy, I could deny it to the point that he will think he did it.

I think you could use such advice if ever this should happen again.

and please, blame those annoying people who spin!
lulu said…
I just got home from a Naked Raygun show, and someone near us had the kind of gas that makes you think that they might be dying and decaying inside. People were grabbing their noses and backing away in horror.

You do realize that all your comments for this post are going to be about passing gas?
Dale said…
Sarah Brightman is ridiculous isn't she?

Did I mention the swans walking around Hampton Court out back? I steered clear.
You're just doing this because I said you should be slightly less prudish. I know it.
Melinda June said…
Yes, WP. I'm a woman. It couldn't possibly have been me.

Luckily, Lu, mine was yoga gas so it wasn't like that. And, sadly, yes, I realise that the comments will all be fart related. Oh well.

Except for you, dale. Restrained in not rising to the bait, and very wise in sensing the evil lurking with those nasty swans. Aren't the medieval kitchens at HCP amazing?

Yes, Tom. Just you wait.
Dale said…
The kitchens with their walk in fireplaces and cauldrons of meat were great Mindy. I loved seeing the casks of wine too. The guides, both the living and handheld audio type, were really cool and provided excellent commentary.

Popular posts from this blog

Ways other than Paul Blart and lipstick to combat economic depression

Empathize this

Christmas memories, vol. 20