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Showing posts from February, 2007

Who Needs Ping Pong Balls

Today, someone in Thailand came to my site by googling "snot fetish". First clown porn, now this. Do I know how to attract sexy or what? Note to Dale: I blame you for this.

I Beat Lulu

Lulu is a freedom-hating pinko, but I'm practically wearing the hijab. Your 'Do You Want the Terrorists to Win' Score: 98% You are a terrorist-loving, Bush-bashing, "blame America first"-crowd traitor. You are in league with evil-doers who hate our freedoms. By all counts you are a liberal, and as such cleary desire the terrorists to succeed and impose their harsh theocratic restrictions on us all. You are fit to be hung for treason! Luckily George Bush is tapping your internet connection and is now aware of your thought-crime. Have a nice day.... in Guantanamo! Do You Want the Terrorists to Win? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Please bury Anna Nicole Smith

She died what, a year ago? (That is hyperbole, exaggerating for comic effect. I realise it's only been a week or two, though I don't know the correct date.) My point...she was a half-wit, mostly famous for sexy Guess jeans ads, being a drunk-fat-drug-addicted reality show star, and marrying a geezer. Enough already. I blame Larry King. Take that bastard off the air. Come on, people. The body is starting to smell.

Anger Management

I am normally an even-tempered person. I find ways to avoid confrontation, I seldom pick fights, and when I do I pick my battles wisely. There's a whole lotta room to roam on the friendly and well-mannered side of the line. In fact, most people don't realise that there's another side. But then something or someone crosses it. And all bets are off. Tonight, I read this post by my friend Lulu, who'd gotten caught in a ruckus in the comments of another blog. It all started with a reasonable post about children and television watching. I would post the link to the original, but the blog owner has already had to deal with a firestorm and it seems unfair to contribute further than I already have. And while I read the original post and the comments about television, this quickly became about something else for me. I really dislike it when people use sweeping generalisations to pigeon-hole others. I really hate it when they are so full of themselves and their inflated

My Ridiculous Week

Monday: Went to work. Had a message that my presentation that was supposed to happen on Monday the 26 Th was actually going to happen on Wednesday the 21st. Since I had a big presentation to do on Friday, as well, this meant that I had a LOT to do. Had a panic attack, but my team calmed me down and agreed to help me. I worked until 1945, but then the Ocado man was due to deliver my groceries, so I went home and let him in. Made dinner. Went to bed. Tuesday: Went to work. Scrambled to finish everything in time for Wednesday AM's presentation. It wasn't easy, but I got everything done in time. At 1530, left for the city. We had a thing in London...we were hosting a dinner to celebrate our suppliers' contribution to our business. We were at the Dali Universe, which is right next to the London Eye. Schmoozed , mingled, drank much wine. Networked my way to a possible job in China. Told our US CEO that I was on a death watch for the head of travel to retire so I could m

Why?

Always is advertising feminine hygiene products that contain real silk, like that is somehow necessary. I don't understand.

I Heart Mandy

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I have a crush on Mandy Patinkin. Sadly, though, it's not this handsome-tenor Mandy that I love. Nor is it this swashbuckling-Inigo-Montoya Mandy that haunts my dreams. Or even the smarty-pants Chicago Hope Mandy, who would have been fine were he not eclipsed by that dishy Adam Arkin. No, I have a crush on Orthodox Mandy from Yentl. I wonder if this transfers to Lubavitchers? Probably not. Beards require trimming, plus I like to keep my Friday night options open. (Let's face it...sometimes it's been a long week and all you really want is a book and a bath, no matter how great the mitzvah.) But Avigdor? I can hear THAT, Papa.

Little Timmy Wants a Cat o' Nine Tails

I know many of you share my hatred for the Kristians and their wacky world of bigotry and ignorance. If you've ever gotten me talking about religion, you know how angry I am that they give my religious tradition a bad name with all their crazy. Bastards. So I vent my frustrations by ridiculing them and their ilk, something in which my friend Timmy is more than happy to assist. Tim has hooked me up with many many sites of blasphemous good fun, such as the Jesii of the Week and the Lego Life of Christ series . Today, Tim hooked me up with Kids in Ministry. Sadly, this site is real. Not only do they offer Jesus Camp for the little nippers, they have the most fascinating visual kits to help teach the little ones how to prophesize , bathe in the blood of Jesus, and reenact the great moments in Bible history. They don't like it when we call them scary, and rebut by saying that obviously if you think they're scary you are either ignorant or the spawn of Satan. I am neither o

Black Tie Hangover

I have a low-grade headache. My stomach is vaguely upset. I have the remnants of a hangover. It is not, however, from too much alcohol, at least not today. Instead, it is from too little sleep and too much thinking. There are many awards ceremonies in my industry here in the UK, always black tie and held on weeknights in London. Members of the leadership team take turns attending, and other seats are then handed out to people within the company who can represent us...sometimes we've purchased a table, sometimes we're hosted by others. When it's your turn to attend, you generally find a way to do it...it's a good networking opportunity and it's usually pretty fun. There was a sales awards event on Thursday night, and since the two US VIPs that were supposed to attend ended up postponing their trip by a day, I got a last-minute invitation on Wednesday. There's been a leadership shakeup on my team this week, and so while I had a lot of work to do and couldn

This Is Unsettling

Happened to run through my site meter, and found the most upsetting thing. Someone came to my blog by googling "clown porn pics." Surely that's a joke.

Happy Valentine's Day - a bit early

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I'm going to be busy between now and Thursday so, in my annual tribute to Valentine's Day, I am posting the songs and poems that make me think of love this year. May you all be blessed with the object of your heart's desire. i carry your heart with me(i carry it in my heart)i am never without it(anywhere i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done by only me is your doing,my darling) i fear not fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true) and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing is you here is the deepest secret nobody knows (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows higher than soul can hope or mind can hide) and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart) ee cummings Flowers Some me

Proof

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I've always felt unique. I've always known that there is truly no one like me. Not one. And now, here's some proof. HowManyOfMe.com There is: 1 person with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

Movie Review in 10 Words or Less - Annie Hall

Still one of the best movies ever. La De Dah...

Movie Review in 10 Words or Less - The Family Stone

Diane Keaton, please tell us. WHY? You're better than this. Could also be the review for "Because I Said So", or so I hear.

Movie Review in 10 words or less - Junebug

There are lots of ways to be foreign. Very insightful.

What God Sees

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Or, for you atheists, what Google Earth sees when he looks down at me. Note - you can see the ducks on the pond. This appears to be in happier times, before the swans showed up. Unless they're hiding under the trees. That's possible. Google Earth - yet another way to distract me from doing my homework.

Oh no.

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Thanks, Urbangal. Now I want these. All $1,875 of them.

Character Actor of the Day - Stephen Tobolowsky

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Okay, so it isn't daily. It's when I feel like it. Maybe I'll rename it something lame like "Character Actors I Like" or "Almost Starsearch ". I'll figure that out later. Now...on to Stephen. Who is Stephen Tobolowsky , you ask? Hey now, don't you tell me you don't remember him 'cause he sure as heckfire remembers you. He played Ned... Ryerson . " Needlenose Ned"? "Ned the Head"? C'mon , buddy. Case Western High. He did the whistling belly-button trick at the high school talent show? Bing. Ned Ryerson , got the shingles real bad senior year, almost didn't graduate? When I see Stephen Tobolowsky , I see him in Groundhog's Day , annoying our protagonist , Bill Murray, as he walks down the street and then into a giant puddle. But his talents don't stop there. He's been in hundreds of television shows, ranging from Buffy to Seinfeld to CSI to Deadwood. His credits include edgy things like Meme

Mystery!

Please can someone help me figure out what's going on over at Martha D ? Exhibit A: Photo of newspaper with topical headline about explosions in Kansas City. Exhibts B and C: Photos of dogs. Is she holding the dogs for ransom and using the newspaper to prove they're still alive? Did the dogs cause the mysterious explosion? Are they terrorists who hate us for our freedom????? Inquiring minds want to know.

Woman Seeking Boots for Ass-Kicking and Travel

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About 5 years ago, my friend Bethany bought me some of my favourite shoes ever. Boots, actually. She wanted to give me something special, plus they were on sale and they were the last ones in the store so you couldn't really leave them there, now could you? They were FAB-U- LOUS . Red leather motorcycle boots with a black rubber Vibram sole. Oil and water resistant. Kind of tomboy, kind of girly ....very much like me. Good with jeans, good with skirts, good with pretty much anything I chose to wear. Never wore them with my black tulle ballgown skirt, but thinking I could have done so on the right occasion . My boots were like this, except cranberry red, not orange. These boots went everywhere with me. I wore them every time I flew because they were easy on/off at security and didn't pinch my feet when in flight. They've walked miles with me. Sure, they got a bit scratched on the toe from kicking things and were perpetually in need of a polish, but the shaft of the boot ha

Brrrrrrrrrrr

I know I should be ashamed of myself, but I am frickin ' freezin ' right now. We're having a cold snap, with the temps hovering around 0 degrees Celsius for the last week. Sure, it gets warmer (maybe 5-10 C) during the daytime, but at night it is solidly below freezing. Mornings are frosty, and I have to scrape the car. The duck pond has a little layer of watery ice, able to support the weights of the ducks before noon, but swans usually break through. (Which makes me laugh a snickering laugh of poetic justice, of course.) Worse yet, my boiler is acting funny...not out, exactly, but not staying on steadily as it should. Plus I seem to have turned a few radiators off and can't figure out how to turn them back on. (I've tried twisting the knobs, but that hasn't helped.) So my toes are frozen and I'm huddled under blankets and I'm praying that it will warm back up to normal temperatures soon. But we're supposed to get six inches of snow tomorrow

Drainage

My cold is coming to a spectacular finale. The good news, it is no longer deep in my chest with a rattle/wheeze, it is no longer in my upper sinuses giving me a low grade headache 24 hours a day. No, instead, it is in the last throes of battle centered in my cheekbone sinuses. Last night, I had to sleep upright because I didn't want my nose to drain on my pillow because then I'd get nose drainage in my hair. Today, I've had to excuse myself from meetings THREE times because my nose is leaking. Seriously. Leaking. I have the kind of cold children get that gives them a glistening upper lip with a little snot halo around their nostrils. This is SO not cool.

Character Actor of the Day - J.T. Walsh

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J.T. Walsh is easily one of the most talented actors of the 20 th Century. If there were an academy award given in lifetime achievement for Creepiest Mutha in a Supporting Role, Walsh would give Dennis Hopper and Christopher Walken a good run for their money. There are 72 entries for his work in the IMDB between his first film in 1982 and his death in 1998. That's quite a bit for a 16 year career. He did goofy, he did sinister. He did violent, he did conniving. He is positively brilliant as the husband with the hitman in Red Rock West. Talk about pure evil. And yet he also rocks as the anti-Santa villain in the under-rated remake of Miracle on 34 Th Street. And as the stick-in-mud townsman in Pleasantville . And in A Few Good Men. And in pretty much everything else he did.

Character Actor of the Day

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I was watching BBC Breakfast this morning, and they were talking to Ricky Gervais about For Your Consideration . And that got me thinking about how I love pretty much everything Christopher Guest and his friends do. I've even entertained thoughts of marrying Eugene Levy, especially after his turn in A Mighty Wind where he is actually really sexy. (Of course, he's married, plus he doesn't know me, so I've ruled that out temporarily.) One of the things I love about these people is that they are such a great ensemble, and that got me thinking about people who don't have to be the stars of everything, and then it got me thinking about character actors, and then I decided it is time to salute the ones I love. Day One - Wallace Shawn I love this guy. It always seems like he's spitting when he talks. His whiny, nasal voice is incredibly animated and he can convey an impressive range. I think my first Wallace Shawn moment came during The Princess Bride when he and F

Cold Comfort

CNN Headline : Defense Secretary: No Plans for War With Iran Like that's ever stopped us.

Sicko

My friend Brad sent me this link . Talk about sick and wrong. I'll tell you what to arrest her for. Insanity, not to mention aiding and abetting pure evil. That's not just a crime, it's a crime against humanity.