I am so cool

I am totally absorbed in the nitty gritty of finishing my MBA and have been too tired to think of something to say. Thank GOD Some Guy finally gave me a writing task!

TO DO: List 5 things you do, did or like that some may consider “totally lame,” but that you are totally proud of. Tag 5 others:

1. I am a Fanilow. Yes, I love Barry Manilow. I know pretty much all of his classics by heart, and have been known to sing them with reckless abandon in public when I am by myself. I haven't been to a concert yet, but the operative there is "yet." Seriously. Barry Manilow rocks.

2. When I first moved to Seattle, I was exceptionally broke. We had no furniture in my apartment, just giant fake fur pillows my mom had made when we were kids, plus mattresses to sleep on and a desk and chair. Oh. And an old dentist's side table we spray painted and tiled, plus a couple of chairs from Target. The building we lived in didn't have a buzzer, so when people came to visit they stood under our kitchen window and yelled, "Ball Peen Hammer!" up at us, and we'd toss the keys down. (My housemate Sonja came up with the password - she likes her tools and implements.) El Ben and the Bethanizer used to come over all the time, and we would feed them whatever we could make from the groceries we got out of the Safeway coupon book, and we'd drink Henry Weinhard's beers while sprawled all over the floor by candlelight. After a few beers, we would indicate that we were inebriated by placing the bottle caps over our eyes, because they had stars on them and made us look like drunk cartoon people.

3. I went pillow shopping with my friend Susan, and insisted that we lay down on the floor of the department store to test them so we'd be sure we got the best ones. It works, FYI.

4. I love going to Red Lobster. Tom and I go there and pretend we're suburbanites on a big night out...we order appetizers AND dessert because we can, and announce this to the waitress so she understands....Heck, we're at RED LOBSTER! We're gonna CELEBRATE! Of course, we do this because this makes us feel like we're cool urban hipsters, but actually we find excuses to go there.

5. I use all sorts of unfashionable expressions. I say things like cattywampus, kerfuffle, boy howdy, the skunk-eye, hullabaloo, groovy, foxy, dapper, peckish, and jeepers.
I also have ritual hellos, goodbyes and phrases that make no sense to anyone else. They include things like, "Leiderhosen!" (a fond farewell, to which one must reply "German Pants!"), "Yahweh!" (typical response to "no way!"). "You can't really digest corn," (which is used to point out that either a) you've stated the obvious, or b) let it go because it's out of your control), and "Chip?" (which should be said in a monotone drone and is the appropriate way to offer a friend any sort of food.)

I don't know who's been tagged, so I'm picking people some of you don't read, such as No Identifying Characteristics, El Ben, Kirstin, and MnMom. And CP because, well, he's CP.

Comments

lulu said…
I love it when you say "Boy howdy"
Joe said…
Nice list.

I love "boy howdy", even though I don't say it much anymore. I still use groovy quite a bit. And howdy, too, without the boy.
Some Guy said…
Absolutely awesome! I think I went to a Red Lobster when I was very young. Too bad they don't have them up here because I, too, want to impersonate a cool, urban hipster.
Melinda June said…
Thanks! Chris, surely there's someplace near you where you can pretend to be ironic but secretly revel in the deliciousness of unhealthy, mass-produced food? I find locally owned supper clubs with relish trays and salad bars to be equally good for this.
Certainly "peckish" will come back into fashion any darn moment and THEN where will we be?!
With Hullaballo and Waffles,
Madame German Pants

BTW: You can wreck my life at any time. I will even make the drinks.
michaelg said…
Non-stop cheesy garlic biscuits = yum. We get into the RL about once a year, but need to hold our heads high.
Love your expressions and may borrow them. One that I use at every opportunity is 'hangdog.' "Mary, why the hangdog look today?" Saying it is fun and somehow reminds me of my basset hound, rest her soul.
Pam said…
I think you'll enjoy knowing that Larry and I both still use "You know, you can't really digest corn" at all appropriate opportunities. Of which there are none, but that doesn't stop us.
Mnmom said…
I agree with Michael - nonstop garlickly cheese biscuits - what's not to love? But you have to ignore the extreme midwest trailer trash family in the next booth, until you realize you were looking in the fish-shaped mirror. Kind of like being at Olive Garden.
I say cattywampus and peckish - it's good to keep people on their toes. I also say Holy Mackerel a lot.
Kireliols said…
I'm a holy cow gal myself.
Mnmom said…
How about PHOOEY??
Melinda June said…
Them are fightin' words, ML. You have no idea how evil I can be.

Those garlicy-cheesy biscuits are to die for. No trip is complete without five. You are more than welcome to any of the expressions...I like to think it's the remnants of my small-town Iowa upbringing, which you share, so carry the banner high, my friend.

Holy mackerel, cow, and even hotpants, Batman are equally good. And though Phooey isn't yet in my arsenal, I do use Pleh! a lot.

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