I am a Comma Whore

They called me a name at work today. American Comma Whore. Ouch.

I use too many commas. I know I use too many commas. I like commas, plus I like to use commas to help approximate the cadence of my speech, and I am a fan of long-winded sentences that go on endlessly, with lots of descriptors to ensure you catch every nuance of my topic or story. You read me. You know whereof I speak.

The English, they're not really fans of the comma. In fact, they hate the comma. They hate the comma almost as much as they love the "u".

Since I write for a living, the spelling and the punctuation can be quite critical. For instance, they would not separate, "Since I write for a living," from the rest of the last sentence...they'd just run it on into "the spelling...." That just seems wrong to me. I've consulted my grammar books, and the comma is a legitimate separator of two sentences when joined by a conjunction, as I am doing in that sentence above (and this one, for that matter.)

Sure, I engage in some gratuitous comma usage now and again. If you were paying WAY too much attention to this blog, you'd notice that I occasionally go back and edit the commas out of my work. I don't want to be a bad writer, and bad punctuation is the hallmark of bad writing, along with bad spelling and the misuse of than/then and all those "to/two/too's". I want to be smart, witty and well-punctuated so that echo and dale do not ridicule me in the comments.

Sigh. I think it's time to read Eats, Shoots and Leaves again.

Comments

lulu said…
I think that your puntuation is just fine, and I am a professional. ;-)

The point of punctuation is to make written words easy to read, yes, there some conventions, but language is constantly evolving, and as much as some people might like to pretend that grammar is a constant, it is not.

I don't think that bad punctuation is the hallmark of bad writing, nor is poor spelling (although that might just be wishful thinking on this poor spellers part) I would rather read a lively, creativly punctuated piece of writing than one which bores me but is written according to the rules.
5:34 pm
Coaster Punchman said…
I think our neighbors across the pond place too much importance on correct comma usage. They should really be spending their time killing people who misuse the word "myself."
5:45 pm
Cup said…
Fellow comma whore here, and I'm an editor by trade. (Note how beautifully the sentence reads with that well-placed comma.) I agree with you that the comma should be used to mimic your cadence, as it adds drama and life to the sentence. I went to a grammar seminar last fall (yes, I am a nerd), and the Professor Emeritus of Grammar at (okay, I forget which university, but it was a really good one for journalism) agrees with us. So, comma away, and show your American pride!

Mock them for their pretentious "u" (although, I have to admit, I find it pretties up mundane words, but don't tell them that).
5:49 pm
Joe said…
I won't tell. Scout's honour.
9:21 pm
Pam said…
What about that damn "q"? I mean, come on, who spells "check" "cheque"? Anyone who uses gratuitous qs and us everywhere doesn't deserve to be taken seriously when discussing overuse of commas.

Plus,I am also a pro, albeit an untrained one with zero cred, having aquired my experience on the job, under the tutelage of trained editors. They seldom fault me for excess commas and I, too, adore the run on sentence - mimicking, as it does, true speech. I am also a fan of the em-dash, but that is neither here nor there, is it?

Comma on with your bad self.
1:37 am
Ruth999 said…
Hey, don't blame all of the English for the fact that the people with whom you work don't understand punctuation. I'm English. I love commas. I too would have used one after "Since I write for a living". (And note the deliberate placement of the full stop after the quote marks - very English punctuation, according to Fowler!)
6:18 am
Coaster Punchman said…
Thanks Ruth. I agree with the English rules on periods and commas in relation to quotation marks. It makes sense that the period should go outside the quote mark if the period relates to the entire sentence and not to the phrase in quotes. If I'm not mistaken, (<--- comma) I think there has been some debate on the rules regarding "" and . and , and ().
7:05 am
Melinda June said…
Having read your writing, Ruth, you do, in fact, get a pass. I think it's actually just the people I work with who hate the comma. And a couple on my learning teams. But I've always been a friend to the outcasts.
4:23 pm
echo said…
MJ, you are now unofficially the Comma High Priestess in our movement.

Tonight! We sail!
10:00 pm
Dale said…
I love commas and perhaps overuse them but it's generally because I worry I'll screw up with a misplaced semicolon.

I'm guilty of the extra u usage, spelling cheque properly and even of being a bad neighbour at times and make no apologies. Then again, I'm not a professional, just a jackass.

MJ - I lurve every comma you've ever placed. :-)

Everyone else? Suck it.
10:00 pm
X. Dell said…
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
2:48 pm
X. Dell said…
Maybe their resistence to commas explains why the British speak so bloody fast.
2:49 pm
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