The Essence of Evil, Part 2

My, my....such a little post causing such a ruckus!

I can't defend myself. Everything you say is true.

I used to be a triple-americano-with-room twice a day. I was on a first name basis with every barista at Uptown Espresso on Queen Anne. If I splurged on a cappuccino, one even made an "M" in the foam for me. Hell, I actually SAY barista, for god's sake. But I don't say "Ven-Tea" OR "Ven-tay"... I just call it "the big-un" to piss them off.

I am well aware of the evil in my life. But frankly, it's sometimes just so much WORK to make coffee in the AM. I blame the tea culture. Kettles boil water almost instantly. With lightening fast PG Tips Pyramid Tea Bags, you can brew a strong cup in about 20 seconds and be merrily sipping away whilst you watch the morning chat shows talk about what the "world-famous Haircut One Hundred" is doing these days, or about some couple in York whose dog taught their cat to fetch.

You become addicted to the quick fix, and in the absence of a flip-the-switch-and-shower drip pot, other methods seem so difficult, what with all that brewing time. So you buy premium instant coffee from M&S, you tell yourself it tastes good, and soon you forget the loveliness of a fine french roast or a properly pulled espresso. It's like Brit pizza...I've come to accept the doughy crust and the uninspired sauce, even though I'd much prefer a zesty square from Red's Savoy Inn.

As to the decaf, that's just age. I have become somewhat of an insomniac, and I find if I have caffiene after about 7PM, I'm guaranteed to be watching tv at 3 AM. Do you know what they play on tv at 3AM here? It's not pretty.

Comments

Joe said…
I understand, but still...decaf? What about the surly moods and outbursts and grinding headaches that set in by 10:00 am. Or is that just me?

I cut myself off from coffee after 10pm now. At one point I was up to 25 cups a day, and was in the habit of going for an espresso with a coworker around 10:30 every night we worked together. And then I wondered why I wasn't sleeping until 4am. Never figured out if it was the coffee or the fact that the bars close at that time.
Joe said…
And by the way, what the hell is a farker?
Melinda June said…
OH! The decaf...is ONLY after 7PM. I'm sinning, but I'm not SATAN.
lulu said…
You know, you can buy a single cup gold filter and make almost instant coffee that way. You put the grounds in the filter and balance it on your cup, then pour the boiling water through, et voila!, coffee!

I can't drink real coffee after about 4:00pm, even Diet Coke keeps me up now.
Pam said…
i ain't buyin these excuses. I have a stove top espresso maker. I put water and coffee in it, I turn on the stove and I go, what, read my email or something. By the time I've deleted the spam, my coffee, which, FYI, is Illy Espresso, dead cheap here on the continent, is done.

You could also get a French press, though I think they're a pain in the ass.

Mindy, we're your friends and we care about you. That's why we're all having this conversation with you. We love you and we hate to see you brought down like this. We're glad you told us what's going on, now let's all work together to find you a solution to break this ugly, ugly addiction.
We're out of PG Tips. Just saying.

CP

ps: Please stop saying "whilst." The "st" part really isn't necessary.
Melinda June said…
I speak the Queen's English now, baby. Nothing but extra u's, whilsts and the occassional shant.

PG Tips, coming right up. I have a present for my boys that's coming your way anyway.
Old Lady said…
Have you all noticed that Madonna has a bit of an accent? I am a coffee cranker I will drink it anytime, no decaf for me!!! I'm with Bud!

Popular posts from this blog

Ways other than Paul Blart and lipstick to combat economic depression

Executive MBA 2006-07 Director's Prize

Planning Funerals