Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Tips for Flying No. 2: Befriend the Flight Attendant

Flight attendants can make or break your flying experience, so be very nice to them. If they approach you with conversational overtures, make small talk and tell them how excited you are to be going to their home country. Don't mention their clown-like makeup or their crazy-blonde-hair-with-black-roots that looks like they've been doing somersaults in a vat of rubber balloons. If they like you, your seat pocket will look like this:


And that was just the first round.

They might even invite you to their house for a barbecue. But if they ask for your phone number don't give it to them. They will actually call you to see when you're coming over.

3 comments:

Coaster Punchman said...

You give us these warnings as if they come from personal experience.

And what if the flight attendant, during her break, is reading "Lies of the Mormon Faith" - what do you do then?

Melinda June said...

Well, you know the rules about talking to people who are reading books about religious fanatics and other crazies or fringe types. Never, ever, ever speak to them if you don't have a clear, permanent escape route.

And if they're Jehovah's Witnesses hide. They might feed you chocolate and then make you read the Watchtower.

lulu said...

Is it good chocolate?