Friday, July 07, 2006

Big foreheads

I've found another physical characteristic on which to obsess. It is so distracting that it may well replace the long-waisted proportion on my list of things to categorically avoid. What is so horrific, so vile that the long waist would become acceptable, you ask?

Giant foreheads.

I'm not talking about receding hairline type foreheads where the hairline has abated. Or an expansive forehead that is balanced by a face. I'm talking about a Texas-sized forehead that throws a human face out of all proportion, dwarfing the eyes/nose/mouth section so that it covers less than half of the facial area. I'm talking about bulbous Pinky and the Brain type foreheads. Foreheads that look like Squidworth or that John Pankow who played Ira on that show with Paul Reiser and Helen Hunt.

I am aware that this is shallow and unkind, and that my physical imperfections certainly outnumber any potential offense committed by these mammoth heads. It is right to loathe me. I should be ashamed.

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