Friday, July 21, 2006

AA Flight 107

I am sitting on CPman's couch drinking a fabulous cup of coffee after a good night's sleep. Abigail, the fugitive kitty, was quite the talker, but I was freakishly tired and didn't let it keep me awake. It's nice to be home, even if it took a flight to get here.

I hate flying. Between work and living abroad I do a lot of it, so this is not good. I hate the confined space, I hate the whole airbound thing, I hate turbulence, I hate pretty much everything about it, except getting off the plane someplace totally different than where I got on.

I flew from Heathrow last night. I highly recommend the timing of the 630 PM flight to JFK, as you have the day to prepare for your flight, you travel to Heathrow outside of rush hour, and you land at 910 PM in New York so all you have to do is stay up really late and then you get relatively into time zone the next day.

But even the perfect timing of the flight can't make up for the goofballs that were on it. I had a great seat...an aisle in the front part of coach on the 777. (If you take a longhaul flight on American, say to VISIT ME, you should get a seat in the front section of coach as they cost the same but have about five inches more legroom in each row.) I was in the middle section, but the rest of the people in my row were friendly and quiet, and the guy next to me didn't get up to go to the bathroom and wasn't a chatter, so that part was good.

Across the aisle in the bulkhead and the row behind there was a family of five. The parents and the one year old were in the bulkhead, and the eight year old and toddler were behind them. I hated this family, primarily because the father (who was probably around 40) behaved like a child. I knew I was going to be annoyed when he was getting the kids settled, as he kept bending over in the aisle and sticking his butt in my face. Seriously, it was IN MY FACE...like less than four inches from my nose. There are ways to turn when you're in the aisle so that you DON'T give another passenger a big ole buttscent, but this guy didn't seem to know or care about that. Then the toddler got out all of his Wiggles action figures and lined them up on his tray table. He'd knock one down, and then whine until his brother picked it up. After about the 15th time, his brother...who was trying to read...got frustrated and asked his father if he could switch places. The dad refused, as he was comfortable, plus they'd already called seats. The son countered by pointing out that he wasn't responsible for his brother and therefore the dad, who'd had the stupid kid, was and should come back and play fetch. There was a bit more back and forth, and then the mother told her husband to grow up and switch with the boy. Husband claimed he couldn't because the fasten-seat-belt sign was on, but would later in the flight.

Then the meal service started. Turns out all five of them are vegetarian. Flight attendant asked if they'd ordered special meals...they hadn't...but boy were they pissed that the only options were chicken or beef. Why no pasta? Having flown a GAZILLION times, the options are ALWAYS chicken or beef, you idiot, but I kept my mouth shut. He demanded extra bread rolls, and then got out a bag of junk food from M&S. Personally, I'm thinking a vegetarian parent who's putting two kids on a flight at 630 at night should plan ahead and order some mac and cheese for the nippers, but I'm one of the barren ones so what do I know?

After the meal, Junior reminded Dad that he'd promised to switch seats, and so with much harumphing Dad gave in. And then proceeded to poke his wife in the head and dangle cookies above his son for about an hour. The eight year old finally had to tell Dad to knock it off...he was pissing people off. Although not happy, Dad let Junior give him a timeout.

It went on like this for seven hours. Once we landed and were waiting on the tarmac, he got up to get his mobile phone out of the overhead. The stewardess came and sternly told him that he needed to stay in his seat. He mocked her in a singsongy voice. I hate people who break airline rules, but I really hate adults who are obviously in the wrong and then act all put upon when someone corrects them.

I was so happy to get off that plane. I practically ran down the customs corridor, and luckily my bags got there quickly and I was gone before they caught up. CPman was waiting in the queue for me and did a happy dance when he saw me. The ladies giggled at us. We came home, Georgie made a delicious Caesar salad for a late supper, and then we stayed up late drinking Finnish liqueurs and eating watermelon and tea biscuits. The annoying family is just a distant memory and I can relax and enjoy my holiday.

Just don't get me started on the hairy guy in front of me.

4 comments:

Dale said...

Have a great holiday. Sounds like we share some of the same loves of flying - mainly the people. Arrrrgh.

Melinda June said...

Thanks, Dale. Will keep you posted here on the many fun things we do.

Note to readers...am now editing my bad writing on this one...I blame the jetlag.

Jacob's Mom said...

Happy 40th Birthday! Sounds like your celbration will be loaded with fun! Enjoy to the hilt!!!!!

Melinda June said...

Thanks, Marg! Your little bro is taking good care of me.