The Special People Club

I've been informed by several of my UK readers that they thought the photo image to the left was actually me as a child. Should you also be wondering this, let me clarify that that is not, in fact, me, but rather the image of Dawn Wiener from the classic dark comedy, Welcome to the Dollhouse . While I certainly had my geeky stages and often demonstrated a strong sense of misguided fashion, Dawn does not look like me on the outside...she only represents how I felt on the inside. If you are new to Melinda June, you can click on the label below for a visual tour of my youth.

1. When I got on the train, I sat by two East African Muslim women wearing burgandy-ish jilbabs that clashed with the hennaed orange tips of their fingers. One of them had a nubbin on her thumb that kind of looked like a tiny little extra thumb. It freaked me out a little bit. 2. A woman sitting across from me had the shiniest, whitest Chiclet teeth ever. And though she appeared to be in her twenties, I think they were actually ill-fitting plates because she couldn't seem to get her lips over them to stop the creepy smile. 3. At King's Cross, there was a family that took gender-specific coloration very seriously. The Mom and her two daughters were dressed entirely in pink and had pink roller luggage, the dad and the son were in blue with matching blue duffel bags. They were standing next to a kid dressed in beige. I've read Middlesex . It made me wonder. 4. I saw a short bald man on the tube with a massive bloody bandage on the back of his head. He was acting like it was an...

1. Rather than go to the store to buy polish remover, I chose to gnaw the chipped polish off my nails last night. I disgust me. On the plus side, I won't have to pack and move the bottle of polish remover, so that's a plus. 2. Why is it so easy to get spinach in your teeth? 3. Today I saw a couple at Euston station wearing two of the ugliest plaid jackets ever. I mean abysmally ugly. Criminally ugly. And I can't help but wonder how that happened? Let's just imagine for a moment that you and I were travelling together, and when I came out of the shower you were putting on a nasty check plaid jacket that's so busy it sends a normal human eye into spasms. I would go one of two ways: 1) Tell you that your jacket was a crime against humanity and you'd best take it off, lest I start burning it whilst you were still in it, or 2) Decide to let you learn your own lesson through ridicule and public shaming, and then I'd put on something simple and unobtrusive to mu...

1. I'm shocked and horrified by the flooding in Iowa. First, my hometown had crazy high waters, and though there was some damage and quiet a few tense moments, the community banded together to help and they are relatively unscathed in comparison to Cedar Rapids. Most of my extended family on my dad's side still live somewhere between Cedar Rapids and Iowa City and I've spent a lot of time down there throughout my life. It's hard to put words at how awful things are there right now. And it's unfathomable how much damage there is, and how long it's going to take to fix. Word has it that all of my family is safe, but living in a community that's been devastated by something like this is still scarring. I'm thinking about them a lot. 2. I'm also really bothered by some of the comments I've been reading on news stories. People have been jumping on stories about Tim Russert's death and making snide comments about his reporting and bias. On one of...

I'm really bummed that I couldn't have a few of you over for dinner, because you would have LOVED what I made. Coq au Riesling Cut up half a pound of bacon. Heat some olive oil in a casserole, toss in some minced garlic to flavour it, add the bacon and brown it crisp. Add a finely chopped leek and cook and stir a bit. Add some boneless/skinless chicken thighs cut in half with a knife (probably six or so) and some ripped up oyster mushrooms. Toss them around a bit more and let it brown slightly, but not really. Season with salt, pepper and a couple of bay leaves, add 3/4 a bottle of good Riesling wine and let is simmer for an hour. Add just a small tidge of single cream, and serve it on egg noodles with a bit of fresh dill chopped on top, plus a spinach salad with a citrusy dressing on the side. It is all melty and delicious, with no trace of alcohol in the flavour - if I can taste wine in a sauce it usually annoys me, and this...this was rich and succulent and vibrant.

Picked this up over at the Pug . Not only do I apparently look like Marni as well as Janeanne Garafalo, I look like several "celebrities", as well. I wonder if somewhere on some blog in the near future someone will resemble a "celebrity" that looks like me? OH! And who'd have guessed I look like Lionel Richie?

1. I have fabulous new hair. It is a curly, vaguely shaggy chin-length inverted bob. And it is a lovely chocolate brown with sprigs of blond and vibrant red mixed in. Much, much better than the shaggy brown-and-grey mop I had a mere two weeks ago. I feel sassy. (Technically the hair is visible in the graduation photo below, but it didn't interact well with the hat so the photo doesn't do it justice.) 2. Coldplay has a new album out. I still hate them. I'm listening to the Current online and they're playing a song from it, and it's overly dramatic and cloying. Nice to know some things never change. 3. My housemate believes that even the deadest looking plants are capable of rebirth. Therefore I have two extremely dead, turning to dust plants in my immediate line of sight. Bless her optimism. 4. She left today on holiday, and I am house/dog sitting this week and feverishly packing for my move next Friday. Wolfie, the dog, is a delightful animal but he is a bit skitt...

From CNN: BREAKING DOWN THE NUMBERS Here's how the average tax bill could change in 2009 if either John McCain's or Barack Obama's tax proposals were fully in place. MCCAIN vs. OBAMA Income: Change in tax Over $2.9M: -$269,364 vs . +$701,885 $603K and up: -$45,361 vs . +$115,974 $227K-$603K: -$7,871 vs. +$12 $161K-$227K: - $4,380 vs. -$2,789 $112K-$161K: -$2,614 vs. - $2,204 $66K-$112K: -$1,009 vs. -$1,290 $38K-$66K: -$319 vs. -$1,042 $19K-$38K: -$113 vs. -$892 Under $19K: -$19 vs. -$567 Source: The Tax Policy Center Those crazy tax and spenders. They obviously don't understand how important every dollar is to the average American. I mean, sure Americans who make less than £112K annually do better under the Obama plan, but what about all those people who make MORE than that??? Hard working Americans want an explanation for this, Mr. Obama. Special to readers who are actually IN the +£112K-$603K bracket...I hope to join you there soon, and I know you work hard...

I've been DYING to tell you all what I'm doing until the end of July...and now all can be revealed. I have the goofiest job ever. I am project directing this . The press, the promotion, the celebrities, the fundraising, the team interaction at my company, the branding and message...everything. It ROCKS. And if you're so inclined, show your love and spread the word...click on DONATE and sponsor us. But remember, US residents....you'd best mentally double whatever amount you enter before you click send, because it collects money in £££'s and your bank will when they debit it from your account.

OOOOO. Don't vote for that Hussein Obama character! He's going to TAX you! (Insert old coot holler here, perhaps with a cane shake.) Listen up, Ole John. If you're going to call us tax and spend liberals who just love to take money from the pockets of hard-working Americans to feed and house lazyasses with too many children, then I'm going to call you a money-grubbing, selfish bastard with a cold black lump of coal for a soul who is only concerned about protecting your own wealth and that of your cronies. It's 2008, not 1988. Supply-side and trickle-down economics and name-calling are passe. Not to mention that there's no evidence they work. Furthermore, equating lowering taxes with creating jobs is risky in a culture where record profits and rising unemployment seem to be not just related but in some unholy marriage. Get a new plan and make a real argument.

Graduation or Fancy Dress party? You decide.

To all you HRC supporters, I'm really sorry for your loss. Politics is heady business. Even though you know it shouldn't be, it becomes very personal as you become more committed to a candidate, and every one of their successes or failures causes surges of powerful, heartfelt emotion. And worst of all, I know what it feels like to lose. To know deep in your heart that you were supporting a candidate who could change the world, but the rest of the nation was just too stupid to listen. You feel betrayed. You feel frustrated. Angry even. It hurts. But losing an election cycle is not a reason to become a moron. Something like 24% (more in some states) of you HRC supporters are vowing to support John McCain in a protest vote. Or to write in Hillary, Democratic party be damned, because your girl didn't win. And you don't care if Obama loses, because he's a pantywaist anyway. Seriously? I mean, seriously. You're willing to abandon your dreams of universal healthcare...

The headline said that the designer of the Pringles can was recently buried in one. I had visions of a giant human-sized container made specially for him, and his embalmed body being put in feet first before being vacuum-sealed, capped with a snap on lid and buried. The actual story says he was cremated, and only part of him went in an actual Pringles can. Still cool, but not as cool as the original idea. Unless they coated the ashes with sour cream and onion seasoning. I wonder if he had a mustache?

For reference, Mr. McCain, just like Some Guy said awhile back - I am not your "friend." Not only am I NOT your friend, I actively dislike you and your mamby pamby pandering ways. I think you look like you're made out of wax, and I think you sound like Dick Dastardly's dog Muttley when you laugh. In fact, you look a bit like him, too. (And since I know you're way too old to understand the Hanna Barbera pop culture reference, FYI that isn't a compliment. In fact - SNAP.) I figure in the end your folksy chitterchat will ultimately kick your ass. If you can talk all cocky about giving Barack Obama some schoolin ' in foreign policy with a trip to Iraq, it can only be a matter of time before you call him "boy" in a debate. Or perhaps you'll go with the less racially charged "whipper-snapper." With an old-coot holler at the end. But for now, please cease and desist with the "friend" calling, Sir. From this point forw...

I've got news for you Iowans. And Minnesotans. And Washingtonians. (And folks from Alaska, Colorado, Idaho, Kansas, North Dakota, Nevada, Maine, Wyoming and half of Texas.) You don't count. You and your lazy, have-a-cup-of-coffee-and-a-piece-of-pie-then-take-your-corners-and discuss-your-candidate caucusing ways are worthless. Meaningless. Why can't you just vote like normal people? Michigan and Florida, man. Now THOSE people matter. Those people have important messages and deserve to be heard. You yokels with your chatty cathy get- togethers are just a whole lotta noise. Who cares what you think? Thank God hard-working Hillary is here to remind us who matters and who doesn't. We always knew that it wasn't just poor uneducated white people. It's so nice to have it clarified. Hillary's so smart. That's why she's ahead in the popular vote.

1. I seem to have developed a pattern wherein I am telling you 10 things on my mind each day. I hope that's okay by you. 2. I was inordinately sleepy this morning. People commented on it. I think I set my alarm too early and should have let myself have another hour of real sleep, not snooze button sleep. I have said it before. I am not a morning person. At all. I think this alone is reason for me to become independently wealthy so that I don't have to get up and be productive. Productivity before 10 AM is stupid. You up-at-dawn-chirpy-morning-people suck. And you're all so self-righteous about your fresh out of bed, everything done by noon mentalities. Admit it. You don't see us as different. You think you're just a little bit better than me because you get out of bed and can hold a conversation, don't you. 3. The air conditioning blew in the room that houses our servers, and so about 130pm all servers collapsed from heat exhaustion. I had no email, couldn't...

1. After many years of viewing exercise as a necessary evil, I have finally found my sport. Boxing. I'm a natural. I've got a strong jab, a good hook and my upper cut is pretty okay, too. And though I'm world-renowned for my lack of coordination, I took to the fwumpity - fwumpity bag like a duck to water...had it spinning on my first try. 2. As I was waiting on the train platform today, I noticed that the girl standing next to me was wearing a cheap black fashion jacket with the word "criminal" embroidered on the back. Other than that, she looked perfectly respectable. It seemed kind of odd. I mean, the last time I checked being a criminal was not a good thing and if you WERE a criminal you wouldn't want to proclaim it to the world. Therefore I can only conclude that this is some sort of new work-release uniform and this poor girl was some sort of yobbish Hester Prynne . 3. I have several outstanding liquid eyeliners from the No. 7 collection at Boots (w...

John McCain was up in arms today, berating Barack Obama for dismissing the security threat posed by Iran as "tiny". In response, Obama clarified that he was referring not to Iran the country, but to their leader, Mahmoud Amadinejad. He then added that by these measures North Korea was a tiny threat, as well.

It has been warm, and I have been walking around in inappropriate footwear. Actually the footwear is fine really, it's my lack of proper sock or stocking that is causing the problem, specifically, very painful blisters. I found this remarkable product at Boots: Dr. Scholl Party Feet gel plasters! Healing, cushioning...what more could a girl want?! Bought them, went home and wrapped my especially painful and pink pinky-toe in one. They're very strange. Kind of like a second skin with a padded center. Completely transparent and very very sticky - not like a band aid that you'd peel off. These feel like they'd take of the top layer off your skin so you better leave them on until they come off themselves. MUCH better. I made it walking for two days with no pain. None. And then on the second day I discovered another pair of shoes that seem to have hidden knives in them. Ouch. I got back to the office, and when I took off my shoes I noticed that the pink-toe plaster had c...

I think John McCain sees fairies. He's given quite the speech , and while it'd be nice if all his dreams came true I think perhaps he should sell the unicorn farm and read a newspaper. Or a history book. Perhaps he is less a George Bush Republican and more a Herbert Hoover one. Now THERE'S a guy who knew from prosperous. And look at how well that turned out . This is yet another reason Hillary needs to make a graceful exit as soon as possible. We don't need another Democratic rift putting Willy Wonka (this time driving a tank) in office.