Tuesday, June 05, 2007

So.

I'm catching a flight home in the morning. They're moving Dad to a hospice tomorrow, which means "nursing home" in a small town like my folks'. I'll be there by Thursday AM, and I'm hoping he's still pretty lucid and that I can have some quality time with him.

The lucky thing about hospice is it never lasts very long. How's that for a horrific statement. I'm learning that times like these make all sorts of improbably awful statements seem reasonable.

I know that most people outlive their parents so this is a common thing. I want to think it's like childbirth. That the next month is the really painful part, and that eventually you forget the pain and remember the good stuff. But almost as bad as the sorrow I'm feeling right now is watching the phantom pain I see when I talk to other people who've gone through this. You can tell who they are. Everyone shows a look of compassion. But people who've done this are, for just a second, a mirror, reliving their own loss for a fleeting moment before they envelop you in a hug. I love them for their kindness and support. And I'm wishing I didn't have to become one of them.

11 comments:

lulu said...

I'm so sorry Min. Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you.

Tanya Espanya said...

For what it's worth, I'm holding your hand, giving you that hug and being a mirror.

:: wildsoda said...

I'm sure it will mean everything to him (and you) to have you there. Here's a big hug from Australia.

Coaster Punchman said...

I'll try to get out there.
xxoo

Chris said...

All my best to you, Mindy.

r.bender said...

All I can do is offer you a big virtual hug, and tell you that you're in my thoughts and I'm here for when you get back. It's a horrible thing to go through - but take the chance to say 'goodbye' properly.

Mark said...

I'm thinking of you Mindy. Big hug and kiss.

Mark

Beth said...

I've been getting pissed off all week over all the Father's Day sales e-mails I've been getting. It's so hard.

You're right about the hospice thing: It's not a state in which you want your dad to stay.

I hope you get home in time to have some quality time with your dad.

Dale said...

I'll be thinking of you Mindy. Take good care of each other.

BeckEye said...

So sorry to hear this. My thoughts are with you.

Tenacious S said...

Mindy, thinking of you and your family. I hope you have been able to get the time you needed with your dad.