I worry that I am turning into Larry David.
Don't get me wrong. Curb Your Enthusiasm is a phenomenally funny show. I belly laugh every time I watch it. I own the first four seasons so I can watch it while I wait for the new season to start showing here.
But I don't want to BE Larry David. Larry David is rude, annoying, and inappropriate. He makes rash decisions and obsesses on insignificant things. He gets irritated and causes commotion where it's not necessary. Being Larry David is like being George Kostanza (in fact, Jason Alexander says he learned to play the character by imitating LD.) I don't mind being a Rhoda, I can even handle being a Charlotte (even though I wish I were a Carrie,) but I DO NOT want to be Larry/George.
Therefore I'm vowing a kinder, gentler Mindy. I am going to stop saying everything that comes into my head without considering the consequences. It's time to start reading Miss Manners more regularly. I'm going to ignore my tendency to get ooked out when a chair is warm from someone else's butt if I sit down, and I'm going to stop fixating on insignificant physical characteristics and assigning unflattering nicknames like "Single White Female" or "Electric Bluto" to people just because I don't like them. In fact, I'm going to stop taking a dislike to people full stop, unless of course I know for a fact that they're not nice.
So badly do I NOT want to be Larry David, I've even decided to give long-waisted people a chance.