The Special People Club

For reference, Mr. McCain, just like Some Guy said awhile back - I am not your "friend." Not only am I NOT your friend, I actively dislike you and your mamby pamby pandering ways. I think you look like you're made out of wax, and I think you sound like Dick Dastardly's dog Muttley when you laugh. In fact, you look a bit like him, too. (And since I know you're way too old to understand the Hanna Barbera pop culture reference, FYI that isn't a compliment. In fact - SNAP.) I figure in the end your folksy chitterchat will ultimately kick your ass. If you can talk all cocky about giving Barack Obama some schoolin ' in foreign policy with a trip to Iraq, it can only be a matter of time before you call him "boy" in a debate. Or perhaps you'll go with the less racially charged "whipper-snapper." With an old-coot holler at the end. But for now, please cease and desist with the "friend" calling, Sir. From this point forw

I've got news for you Iowans. And Minnesotans. And Washingtonians. (And folks from Alaska, Colorado, Idaho, Kansas, North Dakota, Nevada, Maine, Wyoming and half of Texas.) You don't count. You and your lazy, have-a-cup-of-coffee-and-a-piece-of-pie-then-take-your-corners-and discuss-your-candidate caucusing ways are worthless. Meaningless. Why can't you just vote like normal people? Michigan and Florida, man. Now THOSE people matter. Those people have important messages and deserve to be heard. You yokels with your chatty cathy get- togethers are just a whole lotta noise. Who cares what you think? Thank God hard-working Hillary is here to remind us who matters and who doesn't. We always knew that it wasn't just poor uneducated white people. It's so nice to have it clarified. Hillary's so smart. That's why she's ahead in the popular vote.

1. I seem to have developed a pattern wherein I am telling you 10 things on my mind each day. I hope that's okay by you. 2. I was inordinately sleepy this morning. People commented on it. I think I set my alarm too early and should have let myself have another hour of real sleep, not snooze button sleep. I have said it before. I am not a morning person. At all. I think this alone is reason for me to become independently wealthy so that I don't have to get up and be productive. Productivity before 10 AM is stupid. You up-at-dawn-chirpy-morning-people suck. And you're all so self-righteous about your fresh out of bed, everything done by noon mentalities. Admit it. You don't see us as different. You think you're just a little bit better than me because you get out of bed and can hold a conversation, don't you. 3. The air conditioning blew in the room that houses our servers, and so about 130pm all servers collapsed from heat exhaustion. I had no email, couldn't

1. After many years of viewing exercise as a necessary evil, I have finally found my sport. Boxing. I'm a natural. I've got a strong jab, a good hook and my upper cut is pretty okay, too. And though I'm world-renowned for my lack of coordination, I took to the fwumpity - fwumpity bag like a duck to water...had it spinning on my first try. 2. As I was waiting on the train platform today, I noticed that the girl standing next to me was wearing a cheap black fashion jacket with the word "criminal" embroidered on the back. Other than that, she looked perfectly respectable. It seemed kind of odd. I mean, the last time I checked being a criminal was not a good thing and if you WERE a criminal you wouldn't want to proclaim it to the world. Therefore I can only conclude that this is some sort of new work-release uniform and this poor girl was some sort of yobbish Hester Prynne . 3. I have several outstanding liquid eyeliners from the No. 7 collection at Boots (w

John McCain was up in arms today, berating Barack Obama for dismissing the security threat posed by Iran as "tiny". In response, Obama clarified that he was referring not to Iran the country, but to their leader, Mahmoud Amadinejad. He then added that by these measures North Korea was a tiny threat, as well.

It has been warm, and I have been walking around in inappropriate footwear. Actually the footwear is fine really, it's my lack of proper sock or stocking that is causing the problem, specifically, very painful blisters. I found this remarkable product at Boots: Dr. Scholl Party Feet gel plasters! Healing, cushioning...what more could a girl want?! Bought them, went home and wrapped my especially painful and pink pinky-toe in one. They're very strange. Kind of like a second skin with a padded center. Completely transparent and very very sticky - not like a band aid that you'd peel off. These feel like they'd take of the top layer off your skin so you better leave them on until they come off themselves. MUCH better. I made it walking for two days with no pain. None. And then on the second day I discovered another pair of shoes that seem to have hidden knives in them. Ouch. I got back to the office, and when I took off my shoes I noticed that the pink-toe plaster had c

I think John McCain sees fairies. He's given quite the speech , and while it'd be nice if all his dreams came true I think perhaps he should sell the unicorn farm and read a newspaper. Or a history book. Perhaps he is less a George Bush Republican and more a Herbert Hoover one. Now THERE'S a guy who knew from prosperous. And look at how well that turned out . This is yet another reason Hillary needs to make a graceful exit as soon as possible. We don't need another Democratic rift putting Willy Wonka (this time driving a tank) in office.

Rather than republish my own rant, which is actually not nearly as eloquent or accurate to my true annoyance as it should be, I've decided instead to link to this op-ed column by Gail Collins of the New York Times . While it is not the funniest thing I've ever read, the thought of the giant stone face of Thomas Jefferson rumbling out, "You go, Girl!" as part of a campaign strategy did make me roll on the floor.

Every time I turn on radio, he's coming to America or believing or singing some song blue or smiling at good ole Cracklin' Rose. Obviously he's got a new album out. Which I have no desire to purchase. Whenever I hear him sing, I have the overwhelming need to clear my throat, or perhaps hand him a lozenge. Perhaps if he brought me flowers I'd feel differently.

West Virginians are not some political bellwether. There's no as-WV-goes-so-goes-the-nation. If there were, we'd all be listening to bluegrass and whooping like hillbillies. (Which I do, in fact. But I'm not typical.) West Virginians are white, relatively uneducated and old. They are Hillary's base, if she DOESN'T win by a 30-40% margin it's a failure for her. Punditry sucks as much as Hillary for trying to make out like this primary matters. Quick, stop the presses. West Virginians and their 28 delegates aren't keen on the black liberal with the Muslim-sounding name. We'd better ignore all those other voters and put the nice white lady at the top of the ticket. Stupid tossers.

Some people do randomness with their iPod. I'm doing it with the miscellany on my mind. 1. Colgate is really about the best toothpaste ever. I'm four-square against Crest, and though I like the taste of the cinnamon flavour Tom's of Maine, I feel better with industrial-strength, fortified toothpaste attacking my tartar and plaque and preventing gingivitis. 2. Now that I'm tan, I have become obsessive about moisturizing, which helps one retain one's golden brownness and avoid pesky flaking. 3. I have purchased a cocktail dress for our graduation ball that is not black. It is teal/brown iridescent, and it will likely require the purchase of gold sandals. I don't wear gold. I obviously did not think this through. 4. I removed my second Hillary rant because I'm so frothy that I decided it needed revising to a stronger, more anti-Hillary sentiment. Hillary, you really suck. You know that? 5. I love it when the weather gets warmer and I can break out my sandals an

I received this tag from my friend MG and am very happy to participate, as I have been in a bit of a non-blogging mentality lately. Perhaps this will give me inspiration. 5 things in my bag - A small ziploc bag containing three Buxom lip glosses from bare escentials (all of which make my tiny little lips look voluptuous), several lipsticks from sundry cosmetic giants like MAC and Trish McEvoy, and a Justine Case from Benefit to make me look not-tired and not-cranky if the need arises. (Put them in a plastic bag before flying a few trips ago and can't seem to take them out.) - My very cool metallic animal print flat wallet that my mom gave me for Christmas - An equally cool coin leather coin purse that has images of geisha painted on it - Several pens and a notebook used for writing down anything that seems important - My brand spanking new filofax, given to me as a leaving present by my company. It is red leather, and has space for addresses. I am notoriously not a keeper of anyone

Special to those who were thinking about coming to my graduation - I have four tickets, and the ceremony is at 3pm on 6 June. Please let me know ASAP if you're still thinking about this. I'm assuming no, but would still love to see you.

So. After two weeks of not working, I've been hired back. My role is different. I am managing a special project until the end of July, and it will be good experience and still give me time to look for a job so I took it. I've been kind of busy getting it going, but I think it's the right decision. But whole new life is just kind of new life now. Which is fine.