Sunday, April 05, 2009

Sinus infections suck, and the jury's out on online dating

I've been felled by a sinus infection. Pleh. I should have known I would be afflicted...my mom was sick when I was home a few weeks ago and Bethany had it the week before I left. It was only a matter of time until it took me down.

It's been a miserable week to be me. Head stuffy. Glands swollen. Neck not turning. Headache. Fever. Lots of drowsiness. Yuck.

And because I am a moron, I decided that while I was in the throes of this mucus-y hell I should take another stab at online dating, so I registered a profile on chemistry.com. I hate these things and I don't know why I do it. Maybe I was just planning ahead for the next time I get sick, hoping to have someone on deck to make me soup and read me books and bring me cups of tea. In any case, I've filled out a profile and now people are being told they should meet me.

So far, no bites. I used the picture to the left..even though it's not technically "recent," it still looks like me. I elected to call myself "curvy," because it seemed more neutral than "big and beautiful," a term that annoys me anyway. I took the personality test, which states that I am a Director/Explorer - the site matches me with same, or with Negotiator and Builder combinations of Explorer, too.

I had to write a 2000 character personal essay and I had no idea what to say. I thought about asking a few male friends to do it for me, what since they probably have a better idea of what men might actually need to know about me, but that seemed like a cop-out plus it would force them to say something nice and I didn't want to put them on the spot. Instead, I wrote key facts about me that I believe a potential date should know...I am opinionated, I have a head-thrown-back booming laugh, occasionally punctuated with a snort, and men who like quiet women probably won't like me. I got ordained on the internet so I could marry CP to PG. Most days, I wear french perfume but not much makeup. Ambition is sexy but pompous doodieheads will be sorely ridiculed. I like men with hobbies and friends and who are close to their families. My people are eaters, and not picky ones, either. I am not a morning person and I am a very good speller.

I wonder why there aren't any takers yet? I think I sound HOT.