Sunday, April 05, 2009

Sinus infections suck, and the jury's out on online dating

I've been felled by a sinus infection. Pleh. I should have known I would be afflicted...my mom was sick when I was home a few weeks ago and Bethany had it the week before I left. It was only a matter of time until it took me down.

It's been a miserable week to be me. Head stuffy. Glands swollen. Neck not turning. Headache. Fever. Lots of drowsiness. Yuck.

And because I am a moron, I decided that while I was in the throes of this mucus-y hell I should take another stab at online dating, so I registered a profile on chemistry.com. I hate these things and I don't know why I do it. Maybe I was just planning ahead for the next time I get sick, hoping to have someone on deck to make me soup and read me books and bring me cups of tea. In any case, I've filled out a profile and now people are being told they should meet me.

So far, no bites. I used the picture to the left..even though it's not technically "recent," it still looks like me. I elected to call myself "curvy," because it seemed more neutral than "big and beautiful," a term that annoys me anyway. I took the personality test, which states that I am a Director/Explorer - the site matches me with same, or with Negotiator and Builder combinations of Explorer, too.

I had to write a 2000 character personal essay and I had no idea what to say. I thought about asking a few male friends to do it for me, what since they probably have a better idea of what men might actually need to know about me, but that seemed like a cop-out plus it would force them to say something nice and I didn't want to put them on the spot. Instead, I wrote key facts about me that I believe a potential date should know...I am opinionated, I have a head-thrown-back booming laugh, occasionally punctuated with a snort, and men who like quiet women probably won't like me. I got ordained on the internet so I could marry CP to PG. Most days, I wear french perfume but not much makeup. Ambition is sexy but pompous doodieheads will be sorely ridiculed. I like men with hobbies and friends and who are close to their families. My people are eaters, and not picky ones, either. I am not a morning person and I am a very good speller.

I wonder why there aren't any takers yet? I think I sound HOT.

11 comments:

Coaster Punchman said...

"I like men with hobbies..."

Yeah, as long as they're not in CLUBS.

Little Sister said...

SO GLAD you are feeling better. And I agree with CP-careful of the "hobbies." I mean what if he were a collector of clowns or worse-what if he were a mime.

michaelg said...

That bug has been going around. Yuck. Glad you're feeling better.

You'll have to compare notes about online dating with my friend Julie in Chicago. She might be able to give you some names so you can be spared the freak show.

Sonja said...

so that's why you've been so quiet on the nets.

Mnmom said...

Get better - sinus infections stink.
Some hobbies are OK, but what if it's model trains or the Shriners?

You ARE hawt!!! Men who like quiet women are boring. I would have to say I like to nap and can cook a really good meal, but not consistently

kirelimel said...

That's so funny- I am a morning person and I'm a terrible speller!! But...you knew that! Remember how you'd try and buy me off for another 15 minutes...?

I had a sinus infection and I fully endorse a lengthy relationship with Levaquin. I was on it for 14 days and it finally cured me- refuse the Z-pac thing- doesn't work AT ALL.

ccsquared said...

Having tried all of the "Big Three"...E-Harmony was the best (see below), Chemistry was fun and Match was a meat market. From experience all are a good diversion when unemployed.

Oh by the way - if you're in the neighborhood there's a wedding in November. We don't need you in a professional capacity, but would love for you to come as a guest!

lulu said...

can't spell. hate mornings.

You rock.

Urbangal said...

I think you sound hot. You are hot! My attitude about online dating is that no matter what happens, you will always have some excellent funny stories to tell your friends.

Madame Leiderhosen said...

Heck, I think you sound delicious. (On the last part, not the sinusy bit.)

Dale said...

I've got a sinus infection now. I'd rather have a new hobby. Hope you're feeling much less mucus-y and more human.