Monday, March 24, 2008

Hater, vol 2

Jame Blunt must be a really bad boyfriend. Not to mention a bit of an obsessive stalker with no sense of humor.

James, I'm sorry no one loves you, but please stop writing songs about unrequited/lost/tragic love and watching girls breathe. I'm sick of hearing it. No imagination, just lots of creepy mood music.

Just like I'm sick of the same song with two sets of lyrics that Scouting for Girls call "She's So Lovely" and "Heartbeat". Alright, already...she's beautiful and sassy and she makes you weak in the knees. We get it. And you like that whole effect of manic stopping and starting mid-song to convey your exuberance. Good for you boys. Now go write something new.

People like variety. The only reason Coldplay gets by with writing the same song over and over is because Chris Martin mumbles so much that people just assume what he's saying must be deep and touching some universal truth, and they don't want to seem shallow by suggesting he sucks. If you're going to enunciate and not hide behind a wall of sound, folks are going to catch on.

Good luck to you, though. And God bless.

PS. Now HERE is a righteous song about stalking, with an infectiously cheeky up-beat that makes you bounce (without ANY stops and starts, FYI). I know I've posted it before, but it bears another listen to the lyrics. Clever, original, tongue-in-cheek and not a ounce of navel-gazing to sound deep. Watch and learn.

4 comments:

Dale said...

This is like two volumes for the price of one! Maybe James and Chris could team up for a real dirgefest.

Pam said...

That is a snappy little tune. A girl could learn how to play that on her ukulele, she could.

BeckEye said...

I despise James Blunt and his ridiculous voice.

Yvonne said...

Hilarious!

I hate scouting for girls! They make me feel slightly sick, like jigsaw puzzles and board games when they've gone on too long!