Update in Haiku...A narrative of my life...Since we last caught up

My friend Brad arrived
Shortly after my last post.
Hooray! A new guest!

He brought me pickles,
Surstromming, and berry snus.
The pickles were great.

We went to Scotland
So Brad could see the UK.
It rained. Constantly.

We took my Audi
Through the hills, along the coast.
The drive was lovely.

Glaswegians chew gum
and spit it on the sidewalk.
They're full of gum dots.

I like museums
But Brad is not keen on them.
We walked. In the rain.

We had a Guinness
At the longest bar in town.
And we had snus, too.

We walked. In the rain.
Brad peed in a dark alley
Whilst I talked to Tim.

I wanted chinese.
Brad ate prawn crackers and lived.
No hives or choking.

The rain didn’t stop.
We saw the country by car.
It was a bummer.

The hotel desk clerk
Told us to try a curry.
Brad plugged the loo there.

Brad liked all the sheep
But did not “help them over
The fence”, as they say.

Once Brad left, school called.
I wrote three major papers
In three short days. Sheesh.

All is well with school
And there's a three week break now.
Big sigh of relief.

Katrina moved in.
She is neater than I am.
The house is now clean.

Last night’s pilgrimage
To Ikea was needed.
I have floorlamps now.

She hates the parrot.
But we all do. It’s too loud.
And needs a new song.

Spring arrived today.
Pigeons are mating outside.
Please make them stop now.